The 1-2-3-4 ups and downs that make me feel alive!

1 great holliday love, my prince next to the white horse, whom I met when I was 18 in Lipica (Slovenia) where I came to ride the white stallions he cared for at his stable. My prince has been struggling with severe residual symptoms of a spinal cord infarction since 2022, so we can only keep our spirits up and enjoy what is still possible.

2 strong-willed young adult kids, who are everything to me and whom I love dearly no matter what they do. But there is also heartbreaking sadness since one of them wants to have nothing to do with the other one. As a mom, I swallow a tear every time I hear a happy family story from someone, oh truly I would love to be with our complete family again! 

3 careers, after 20 years of corporate (management) experience and 11 years as an independent trainer and coach, I am now making one more career switch (I think), by starting all over again for myself as an independent professional. By saying goodbye to assignments through agencies that effortlessly fill my calendar and wallet. 

It is fun and exciting to fill the vacant space with writing, speaking, (team) coaching and guiding development and change trajectories in my own way.

My way is a mix of intuition, knowledge and experience, which I use for working with what is in the moment, to create awareness and movement towards the desired change. 

4 accidents, which literally stopped my life - fortunately temporarily - but which I have been able to weather well thanks to a good guardian angel and mental resilience. 

At 19 I was in such a hurry that I threw myself crossing in front of the car I didn't see - but was driving 70 - , the police seriously thought it was a suicide attempt. 

At 30, my pelvic instability after the birth of our oldest was so severe that I had to lay on my back for weeks and it was a serious concern about living from a wheelchair. 

At 31, things went badly wrong when I fell off a horse in a race gallop: with five broken ribs, a pneumothorax and a five-month-old baby, I ended up in the maternity unit of the hospital. 

And at 49 - as the cherry on the accident cake - I fell off a horse again, breaking my back in a complicated way, and the terrible message “never ride horses again” came. The rider in me died, but at last I understood the message from the universe that a little less hurry is really better for me as well. 

I am alive! Those accidents made me discover that the positive mind-set 'what can be done' and 'how can I do it anyway' is not something learned but rather who I am, what I breathe. There is nothing special about that, it just comes naturally to me. Yes there is pain, sadness and sometimes desperation, but fortunately I always sleep well and when the sun rises again I see possibilities, my heart beats with expectation to live life to the fullest, even in a difficult situation.

After four “at full speed” accidents, I started making even more conscious choices both in life and work to get and keep the rush out. The last is not easy because there is so much to enjoy and life is short.
So this goes with falling and getting up, and by now I am both literally and figuratively really experienced in this!