Own, play and share your rank, that's leadership

Dear Sam,

During your recent coachingsession we talked about the "legacy" of the previous director, as a result of which you are now struggling in your new role as manager and leader. In the Board as well as within your own team you are struggling to find your place and the responsibilities and tasks that go along with it. 

Shortly after our conversation, I happened to come across the following saying:

Own your rank,
Play your rank,
Share your rank.

So Sam, I would like to urge you to take your own place. You are the director, your place is different than that of your team members or the CEO. Take the responsibility that comes with being a director and act accordingly. Utilize your own talent and that of your team members and help them to fully take their place. Together you can learn, grow, have fun and achieve results. 

I already told you that in my time at ABN AMRO I regularly had managers who abused their position, who didn't allow me my place. They cheated, consciously or unconsciously, and that caused hassle. My manager Tim, for example, is similar to how you described your predecessor. Tim praised my seniority to the skies, until I said something important at a meeting that he hadn't anticipated upon himself. Suddenly he saw me as a threat, abused his position of power to keep me small to feel more superior himself. I wasn't allowed to be at meetings anymore, I was given the shitty work assignments and felt like a glorified secretary. I kept my senior salary but only used part of my potential and therefore my work no longer gave me satisfaction. 

Since then I have been careful not to give managers the feeling that I was sawing at their doorsteps, which by the way was never my intention, but apparently was taken that way. A lonely learning process, in which I missed a coach or teacher, someone in the organization who saw what was happening, how the situation was killing me. It took years before I dared to show myself fully again.

You can be that coach and teacher for your people, Sam. Which of your team members keep themselves smaller than they are? Who can you give space to, coach, which talent can you awaken so that you can save each other and the organization a lot of 'hassle' and waste of energy? You have the opportunity to do better than your predecessor and thus no longer do short on yourself, the team and the organization. It is better to put that energy into achieving results together. 

I consciously chose a different place ten years ago, and now stand beside you and your team as an independent coach. Here I feel free again to make myself big, if that contributes to optimal results for you. 

Sam, you have already experienced in your first months as director that taking your own place sounds simpler than it is. Not only at work, but also as a father, partner, son and friend. Everywhere you have your own place that defines your position in relation to others. So...own, play and share your rank. That is leadership! 

Warm regards, Nicole.

P.s.: During your next coaching session I would love to hear what you are going to do less, more or differently to take your own place more firmly!