Choosing the sun!

Spontaneously I throw my winter clothes on a lawn chair, plop down in my underwear in an easy chair and let the spring sun warm my white winter body. 'For the next hour I won't be here, for anyone,' with my eyes closed I enjoy the sensation of the warm sun's rays on my skin and breathe in the spring air. 'How nice this is,' I muse.  Spring fever comes up; I feel like cleaning up the restlessness in me!  Bringing fresh air into the house and into my head. But first let’s enjoy this moment.

The next day the hail is ticking against the window as I, in between providing online training sessions, take care of the wall-to-wall bookcase in my cosy home-office. April is doing what he wants, and I'm doing my best to do the same. 'Why am I keeping this?' I think as I pull out folders and books. 'I don't want to need it anymore, ever, so out with it!' One and a half meters of paper knowledge, which I collected in 'a previous life' disappears into the paper bin. The space on the shelves also gives space in my head. Space for new adventures and more sunshine in my life. 

My schedule is longing for fresh air too, I see when less than an hour later I am unsuccessfully leafing through my calendar looking for a slot for a loyal coach client. A luxury problem in this times, and yet it oppresses me. Despite saying no far more often than yes, it remains puzzling. I look for breathing room for myself and the "sunshine" assignments that give me energy. Leadership programs, coaching with or without horses, initiatives that set something in motion and make a lasting contribution to the quality of life of my clients. 

I realize that NOW is the time to choose and to say goodbye to the 'hail' assignments. They are 'fun' but not meaningful enough for me, they give me little energy and I do them purely on willpower. Determined, I call clients the next day to immediately assign specific tasks to others. Relieved, I look at the space this gives in my agenda and in my head, choosing is quite nice. 

That 'sunshine' for which there is always time in my agenda I do not see clearly on my website. I don't recognize myself anymore in the photos and texts from five years ago, this also needs a refresh. With a smile I realize that my body with 10 extra kilos is a little less 'beautiful' now, but that as a professional I have so much more 'beauty' to offer and that's what matters. So here too I choose for 'sunshine', new personal texts about what I do best and what I love doing most, and new honest spontaneous photos. Nice to do and takes more than a day, so hold on please.

Choosing is not as 'scary' as I thought it was, it takes courage and that appears when you find the 'sun' in yourself.  The result feels warm and gives me new energy, just as you can feel the first rays of spring sunlight glowing in your body for a long time.