To free the world from the C-19 Trauma-tongs, real get togethers are vital!

You and your family have been trapped in the tongs for over a year,' I hear Anne say. She is my trainer in trauma sensitive support. We are talking about how I can best support a family member and myself after a severe experience last January, before Corona.  

Together with Covid it feels like I am firmly stuck in double pair of tongs. I want to escape but I can't get it to move. Action turns to resignation, the sharp pain gives way to a numbing sensation. This makes it more bearable and confuses me at the same time. I experience everything as dull and distant, even the contact with myself. How can I still reach others if I can no longer reach myself?

For a year now, C-19 has been taking over the world. An invisible danger that can be life-threatening and whose development is as unpredictable as the effect of measures against it. Experts publicly disagree with each other and I no longer know who or what to believe. Globally, we are largely losing control on several occasions. All the characteristics for Trauma are present. 

Everyone experiences Trauma, a violent event, in their own way. Anne taught me the four universal reactions of the human brain to this. This helps me to better understand everything that is happening now. I would like to grant this to everyone with whom I have been trapped in the C-19 tongs for over a year. 

When a violent event occurs, our system instinctively does all kinds of things to survive. The first reaction is to reflexively grab someone. Literally looking for support from each other, feeling stronger together. That reflex of touching is not allowed now, no pat on the back or hug. That can have a serious psychological effect. Especially for young people whose brain highways are still developing. 

If the danger does not stop then we unconsciously switch to the next survival mechanisms, flight or fight. Escape from C-19 is difficult. It is everywhere and invisible. Fighting against it then? One person's fighting spirit is focused on finding effective measures and vaccines, while the other fights against it. 

Our body and brain's last resort is to 'freeze'. This feels like being trapped in tongs; you want to move but you can't. Out of self-protection, your body produces opiates that physically and emotionally numb you to keep it up, sometimes with side effects like despondency or depression.  To free yourself from these mental C-19 pincers, two things are vital.

The first is to regain control of our own lifestyle, but the measures to control the physical threat of C-19 limit us in doing so. Lifting these measures is also exciting. What will the virus do? How do we react mentally when the anesthetic wears off, making the mental pain more sharply felt again? 

It is precisely then that the second is essential for our mental recovery: seeking safety and support from each other. It is important to do this online and at a safe distance. And to be able to spontaneously meet each other again as soon as possible. To connect physically again, touch each other to feel that the other is really with you. That is not a luxury that can wait, that is necessary to mentally recover and to limit the psychological and physical damage in the long run.

Knowing this does not solve it. I do understand now that this is the anesthesia of the tongs making me experience ‘fine’ and ‘pain’ less intense and that reassures me. Is there really nothing I can do? I can't touch you physically, but I can with words. So I write about what drives me, I share what helps me and in this way I make contact with myself and with you.

We'll be in that C-19 tongs together for a while. And even though it seems to have taken over the world, there is other intense stuff going on not only with me but with many people. Cancer, job loss, loneliness, and burnout, for example, can also trap you in a double pair of tongs.  

Let's support each other consciously by calling each other, texting each other or taking a walk together. And  hold on together, at a distance, for a little while longer. 

Let's look forward to the moment when we can spontaneously grab each other again. To be able to exercise, dance, sit on a terrace, travel or go to the theater together again. To free ourselves from that mental C-19 force and to be able to feel and experience intensely again, that is life! This is not a luxury, but necessary for our mental recovery. And therefore, of vital importance!

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